Nothin much

What is the definition of "doing nothing" ? You gotto be always doing atleast something. People have this habbit of asking "Whatsup?!" which is often followed by the reply " Nothin much.." . Why do we have this dumb ritual of whatsup? New to this "text chatting" environment, one day my friend was once asked by a girl "Whats up ? ;) " ...He was stunned for a sec or two, "what does that wink mean? ...Oh OH ! Holy shit! how the hell does she know - what-is-up ?! ...and he hastily closed all the porn windows he had open. Sigh. (Pls dont gross out - i have more to say!)

For once I would like to reply "The ceiling duh?" for a "whatsup" fired my way. I dont remember a single instance when I received a reply better than "as usual", "nothin much" or "same old routine".
These greeting are so dumb i feel that they really show how comfortable you are with the other person. Ever noticed the long awkward pause when you bumped into someone which you would have rather not liked to ? After the initial "hi"s and how-are-yous and the i-am-fine-what-about-thou ..you always end up in long awkward pauses. If you are an onlooker you can clearly view it as a tennis match, with the thoughts swinging from one to the other. Though they are not talking you can hear them perspicuously. "What the hell I am even doing talking with him". These are the tennis matches I really love to be an audience of. It kills me!

(Images courtesy -
www.flickr.com/photos/transposition/100140525/
http://accesstotools.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/nothing-black.JPG )

Someone else.. theory

Everyone knows what is right in a difficult situation, but only when, only when, only when - someone else is in the situation. I am always perplexed to see how any tom dick or harry can speak great words of wisdom for someone who is in trouble. He himself may do all the crappy things in life, but when it comes to advising friends - this very guy who left his girlfriend cause she asked him to brush his teeth regularly in the morning will suddenly turn into a mother Teresa and advice "My friend, you need to show some maturity, even though your girlfriend spent the night with another guy.. you have to understand her and not leave her."
Another thing which i am always bewildered about is how one feels great relief and comfort if someone else (say a friend) was in the same bad situation and they share their experiences. For instance, a friend of mine was hurt as his long distance relationship didnt work out. He talked to another friend of mine and he said he faced the same long-distance curse and mentioned that these situations are tough and its better to end things rather than stretch them. My friend 1 was so thrilled that his depression sublimated and vanished in a giffy. And my friend 2 felt proud that he had consoled my friend 1. But that is not the truth. Being a friend 0 of these 2 idiots, I will tell you the truth behind the depression-sublimation effect. Rather than that friend2's words of same experience being comforting, it is the fact that some one else had gone through this misery and God didnt chose only me to suffer this --that is more comforting than Yanni's melodies!

(Image courtesy - http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3200/2788992743_067fec6d85.jpg )

Pride and Prejudice of the Car Window

Have you ever looked into a car at the signal standing besides you with those tinted UV film windows? You are on your bike in the scorching heat fighting with the sun and this guy sits in the car reading some dumb business magazine - which btw for your information is just a style statement, you doesnt know a shit about whats in there, he is just skimming through the pictures in the magazine as we would do as a child through whatnot (if you know what i mean)!
It like this window separates us from the 2 worlds - the world of air-conditioners and the world of misery. Its like a wall between the cold and the hot air, a wall which separates the bald business man from the mortal common man.
And this guy sits there in his comfy seat and smiles at you - that smirk, that simper which often silently says "If only you had worked a bit harder ... you would have been on the other side of the window!"

Happy Birthday Virus

As a kid I always longed for remembering birthdays but given the fact that I was never a punctilious guy, I always ended up forgetting birth dates of dear and close. This really made me sick and then over a period of time I just evolved into a brassy guy who was taken for granted that he will forget the dates. But people didnt mind, I was let off the hook with a "never mind, thats his childhood problem, was never a memory prodigy".

And from that day my friends, the quest to end up with 365 friends begun! I want to find 365 near and dear people having distinct birth dates. The intersection of their birth dates should be a null set (cant help with the mathematical jargons).
And mind you, your girlfriend or wife should be one of these 365 people. So the day when you cant remember whom to wish a "happy birthday" today -- mate, you need to turn to your wife and greet her "happy birthday darling". Ingenious and perspicacious aint it ?! A complete solution to all the date recording problems - brb, need to go file a patent for this ;)
Just the 29th feb one will be a tricky one.
But do you see the advantages of it, you wont be bored a day after retiring. You will look forward to each new day to wish someone and to talk to someone (maybe after an year's gap when you last talked to him/her!)

(Image courtesy flickr - http://www.flickr.com/photos/sleepishly/2656467632/ )

Evolution

I can never fathom the use of nails. I would have spent at least 0.0005 percent of my life cutting my nails. And the hand ones are useful, at least for a selected use cases, but what are the nails on the feet doing ?! Why do we need them ?
If the evolution theory says that humans lost their tail as a part of the evolution process cause they didnt use it much, then why are the nails still growing and growing and growing ?
Man! we lost to the damn fish too! It was successful in growing fins after being extinct for some years, but we ..no! we couldnt even shed of the nails. Nails are fine, no problem with them - but why the heck do they grow !?
After the 20th century, evolution has made us grow a waist to adapt to the low-waist jeans we wear compared to the ones of 70s where people used to dress their pants on their chests. I bet the shirt length was trivially small in that period of human history. The threshold was 3, you were allowed to display only 3 top buttons of your shirt above the trouser. Such high was the trouser dressed!
With the low-waist jeans picking up these days- according to the evolution theory we may end up having a waist at a place where our knees are today like a Dachshund! (provided we evolve :)

The Cream And Scum Of Blogging

Well blogging has become a morbid mania as such these days. People like to express themselves, they prefer writing a blog rather than maintaining a secret personal diary of events. I still remember those old day college cinema which showed the girl hiding her private diary from the hero. But not the case any more .. the sari is replaced by bum-shorts and a tending to negligible top and so is the personal diary replaced by public blogs!
I guess the new "style statement" is to reveal ... reveal whatever you can, whether its the personal events you log or the tongue piercing you have (belly ring is outmoded btw).
I still cant fathom why people share such a huge amount of their personal experiences or problems on the blog, which is mostly due to having low friend-count. The idiot box is replaced by the super-idiot-box - the com-puter.

PS: this post was to support the blog-a-ton initiative by some innovative people out there who are keeping "quality" blogging alive rather than letting it die as people write pages and pages of day-to-day life., which I feel only losers are authorized to read ;)

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton are Arjuna, Saimanohar, Dhiman, Vipul Grover, Avdi, Daisy Blue, Sid 'Ravan' Kabe, Shankar, Shilpa Garg, Bharathi, Ranee, Ranee again and Pawan.Click on their respective names to read their posts on The Cream and Scum of Blogging.To be part of the next edition of this online marathon, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Partner in Crime

I always have and will respect people who are in a relationship who end up marrying,
provided they stay happy and united till the end.
Cause the odds that you will find your life partner exactly as you had expected or dreamed of infinitesimally small. Its even harder than finding a diamond in a mine - cause you can buy a diamond from a shop, but you cant buy a partner according to your specifications ! (Though lot of entrepreneurs have tried this business-model to generate pairs!)
If you want the exact stats then I will give you the exact stats

Probability of finding a right partner is { 1/(6,706,993,152 ) } *1/2*1/2
where 6,706,993,152 - population count of the world
1/2 - probability that you like the woman
1/2 - probability that the woman likes you

= 1/26827972608
~ 1/(2*10^11)

Good Lord, the odds against you are higher than the speed of light !
And let alone the fact that I have not considered the sexual alignment, that can complicate the equation a lot.