Monday, June 29, 2009


As Engineering students we used to omit a lot of topics while studying. There use to be lot of options for questions in the examination paper, so we could get through by studying only a subset of the syllabus. But ever wonder how medical students might be handling this situation .. Can they afford to study a subset of the syllabus just because there are options in the paper ?
I have never seen a doctor saying to a patient ..."Look mate, "leg" was a very tough topic to study, so I had skipped it ... cant help ya ! Sorry!"
And I guess thats the reason doctors need to prove their qualification from time to time , as Jerry Seinfled says "Only doctors have their certificates on display in their cabins... Its like they are saying "Well you better believe I am an official graduate, check my certificate on the wall if you want to!!" "

Friday, June 26, 2009

The Erection

I was surfing the web and thought of checking "why a building is called a building and not a "built" or something ?!". And I found a very funny answer on a forum which said "Why not call it an "erect" ?" .People would be seen saying "I just moved to a new erection !". Rotflmao. Wonder how this originated ? Maybe...the first building was never completed, maybe it went on for years and years which lead to the present continuous verb for it.

Thursday, June 25, 2009


I always wonder why people whisper when they need to talk to someone who they can see but is too far to talk to. I mean, dont you think screaming if nothing else will help their cause ...rather than whispering?..
Have you seen someone 10 stories up talking to a person on ground in a whisper waving hands suggestively? Saw a man, imitating a Pizza eating routine to a guy far away. He was asking him to bring back a pizza for him.
They were around 100m away ... The man was whispering along with the hand gestures "Can you get me a Pizza ?" .. . Whispering?! And who are you whispering to ? I mean the sole motive behind these hand gestures is that the person is beyond the hearable threshold permitted by physics, ..and you whisper ?! Sorry to say Sir, but you are defeating the motive here ! ... Or maybe humans cant just gesture with their hands .. the nerve going to the hand and mouth in the brain may be connected in some fashion such that there is a single bit as their input. So either both work or none does. No wonder girls have that nerve strong.
This scientific or psychological phenomenon is so peculiar that I wonder how a guy 50m away from another another suggest there is a fire here pls call the fire brigade ... obviously he will whisper " ... you still dont understand you damn fool...there is a fire the fire brigade!" and of course will be waving his hands bottom to top imitating fire..
And as the above 'physiopsycho act' utterly undigestable, so is the uncomprehended act of 'shuuushing' a child to pee.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I have a singular theory that every quarrel, an argufy or altercation can be explained by a single word. Broken relationships, battles, sadness everything. One word. Everything explained.
..."Expectations" is the word. I broke up with my girlfriend - cause: I expected her to be some way which she wasnt. She broke up with me - cause: she expected me to be a Stud! (which for the matter of fact is debatable btw!)

Is expecting to expect that someone wont expect you to expect, a sin !? I really wanna know ...

You say "I hate that person" reason :you expected him to be of a particular kind. "Frequency match" is just a suave way of saying that "He does not match my Expectations".

I go to a dinner invitation without taking anything(gifts/wine/desserts) with me. The host is upset rather than happy to see me !?.. Excuse me, isnt it an invitation for the dinner ? The Society is a very complex organization which works in more mysterious ways and on rules which are stranger than God. God atleast follows logical rules. But no! ..the society has to work on "expectations" is unaware of rational thinking.

Every where you will see expectations. Expectations, expectations, expectations .. Father expects from a son. son expects from mother, wife expects from husband, boss expects from employee, traffic police expects from you, you expect... aaah, are you really left in a position to expect !?

You are expected to bring gifts to bday parties
to wear coats to interviews
to swim only in swimming costumes
to hold a door for a lady

...and if you dont do so ? ..then you are in deep trouble my friend! You are about to be ostracized.

Imagine this world without expectations ! You can go and sit in boxers in office. You can bring your girlfriend to the office to sit next to you... You wont be expected to gift her either ! World will be one peaceful place to live in. And they talk about anti-terrorism for peace ..phrrr. The root cause is terrorists expect a lot... lot of money lot of luxuries lot of land,
Subtract "expectations" from this world and you will be left with a Wonderland ..

A friend reviewed this entry for me. "So..?" I inquired to sooth my intriguing sole on which he replied "Well, cant expect anything from you hence forth..I have quit expecting !!"
I expect he meant good compliments... else he is gonna have one from me! Peace.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Professors are like Coal.. only difference is that the probability to get a Diamond on hitting it is Nil.
I had a professor. We used to call him G-man. Trust me he was unequaled to He-man or Superman. He was a league apart. Unparalleled for his time killing. He had an unimpeachable I-am-too-cool-to-work attitude.
I feel he should be allowed to wear a cape... He isnt not super cool to wear that. A cape with a college emblem
But beware if you need to talk to him or consult him .. he has a tight schedule -
Comes to college around 11am - walk to cabin - switch on PC - walk to canteen - tea at canteen - walk back to cabin - check mail - lunch - walk to canteen - 2 hrs lunch - a walk around department after heavy lunch - a quick nap at desk - chat with hod on things-you-shouldnt-know - some more tea at canteen - some more walk with colleagues - some more nap - some more chats - drive back home.
With so hectic a schedule , no wonder he doesnt find time to update his profile on our college website !

He was so senile that we used to consider him as a Doctorate. Dr. G-Man the chosen one. But he was cool as a cucumber with students. A man with such talent, he was uninterested in materialistic joys of life! Was never interested in failing students. He console us prior to exams - " Dont worry even if the paper is tough, I am going to check it and not anyone else. Just worry about the practicals cause I will have to ask a dummy examiner from industry to conduct the viva...(with a gloomy face) cant help you guys there ! :("
Heard there is going to be a new branch in our Engineering college. Like Gnosticism they are planning for "Ghoticism" (named after the great prof of ours - Dr. Ghot..)

Such was our super hero - our G-man - Cometh the moment cometh the man ..Dr. G-Man!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Socio Socializing

One thing these social networking sites have done is that they have enabled you to dig into someone's past. Or if you see the other side of the coin it helps you to log your present which you can go through in the future. With someone asking me what I was upto this time 2 years before then I can get back to my facebook account and check my scraps/wall.

Lets go 20 yrs down the line and see how things will shape. Your son will come upto you and ask, "Dad who was Julia! Was she your girlfriend ? ..I saw her testimony in your account!" OR "Dad you looked great with that girl in bikini when you were in Vegas :O" and with that I need not explain the look your wife will give you.
...But our generation is not that lucky to have our parents' social/web profiles on these sites. Wouldnt it be great to take a sneak-peek into their past life ?!
I hope 20 yrs down we wont be scrapping each other under the same roof.. else we would find scraps saying "Honey, could you please change our son's diapers ? .. he just peed next to me"
"Sweetheart why dont you do that yourself? The diapers are in the second drawer in the cupboard of the room I am sitting in .."

Friday, June 19, 2009

Shave the Shavings pls!

Shaving is a funny thing. As if men had less things to worry about, they have to check the hair on their face everyday ?!
Ever video tapped yourself shaving ? You get a wide variety of faces made to the mirror. No wonder we evolved from apes.
We still got the genetic gift of making faces ! Shaving gives us a platform to showcase our skills in making faces.
I always end up cutting my sideburns uneven... "Aah this side is a bit long .. let me trim more.. uuum this one looks a bit narrow"
Gaah! by the end of this creative session I am left with small mutton chops which imitate a tap coming out of a tank.
Gradually with the conversion of the beard over the face, this tap seems to pour out water !

Sideburns(initially Burnside) got their name from Ambrose Burnside who had a mustache which connected the sideburns.
These kind of art pieces are like saying that I have 2 parts of my face. One does the talking and eating while the other helps me to see and smell.
Its like an indicator of level on the face. You can immerse me in water only till this level .. if water goes above this , I cant breathe !

Imagine women having mustache and beard. "Oh I just got a french cut! It goes well with my red lipstick! "